Earlier this month, a group of cops in England was driving in a patrol car when one of them couldn't stop BREAKING WIND. It smelled so AWFUL, the other cops rolled down the windows and stuck their heads out for fresh air . . . and that's when they all smelled REEFER. So they followed the smell, found an illegal marijuana grow house, and arrested seven people.
Last week, in Florida, a 51-year-old woman threatened to SHOOT her roommates after they hid her BOTTLE OF VODKA. And it might not have been an idle threat . . . earlier this month she actually shot at some FROGS in the apartment complex who were ribbitting too loudly. When the cops came, she tried to deny everything, but eventually got caught in a lie and was arrested. http://www.keysnet.com/2013/06/13/487486/denied-vodka-key-largo-woman-pulls.html
A few weeks ago, a 46-year-old woman in California found a RAZOR BLADE in her Burger King hamburger. And unlike most "razor blade in the food" stories, this ISN'T a hoax. Cops found razor blades in the kitchen at the Burger King she went to, and employees told them the blades are used for cleaning, and one must've accidentally fallen into the burger. The health department is investigating. http://www.news10.net/news/article/247779/2/Woman-bites-in-BK-hamburger-finds-razor-blade
DEF LEPPARD guitarist VIVIAN CAMPBELL was recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and he's going through chemo right now. He says, quote, "Hodgkin's has an over 80% cure rate, so by my reckoning, if you're going to have a cancer, Hodgie's is the one to have!"
Last week, a woman in New York met a guy through an online dating app. And after a few messages, he sent an unsolicited photo of his JUNK. She flipped out, and when he insulted her, she found him on Facebook, found his MOM on Facebook . . . and apparently sent HER the photo. We don't have any more information on how that turned out. http://www.dailydot.com/lol/naked-lets-date-user-mom-blackmail/
The ROBERTSON family from A&E's "Duck Dynasty" will release their own CHRISTMAS ALBUM. It's going to be called "Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas", and it's coming out on October 29th.
On Saturday, the San Diego County Fair in California unveiled a SLOPPY JOE using a Krispy Kreme DONUT as the BUN. That's meat, sauce, and cheese on a glazed donut. It'll be on sale at the fair until the Fourth of July . . . but probably WON'T be going on the Krispy Kreme menu nationwide. http://mashable.com/2013/06/07/krispy-kreme-doughnut-sloppy-joe/
On Thursday, a 59-year-old man was playing golf in Michigan . . . and a 65-year-old guy in his group questioned him about his score on the last hole. The 59-year-old FLIPPED OUT, BROKE his five-iron on the other guy's arm . . . then STABBED the guy in that same arm using the jagged shaft. He was arrested for felony aggravated assault. http://origin-www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/golf-course-assault-758409
PETER MAYHEW . . . who played Chewbacca in the "Star Wars" movies . . . had his custom-made light saber cane confiscated by airport security in Denver. So he Tweeted about it and asked fans to re-Tweet his message. That apparently worked, because he got his cane back.
MICHAEL DOUGLAS says his throat cancer was caused by performing oral sex. He didn't name any names, though. He says, quote, "Without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from [performing oral sex on a woman] . . . And if you have [HPV], [performing oral sex on a woman] is also the best cure for it." http://www.myfoxny.com/story/22484857/michael-douglass-says-cancer-caused-by-sex
JEAN STAPLETON, who played Edith Bunker on "All in the Family", passed away on Friday of natural causes. She was 90. Jean played Edith throughout the show's nine-season run from 1971 to 1979.
On Sunday night, drivers on the Pennsylvania turnpike spotted a pickup truck with a dog cage in the back . . . with a dog and a 10-YEAR-OLD GIRL inside. The girl's mother and the mom's boyfriend were in the truck, and they said the girl was in there because the dog was whining and the girl wanted to keep him company. Both parents were arrested for felony child endangerment.http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2013/05/28/police-girl-rode-with-dog-in-cage-on-turnpike/
There was a horrific terrorist attack in London yesterday: Two men hit a British soldier with their car . . . hacked him to death with knives and meat cleavers . . . then stood around with bloody hands TALKING about it. One guy even got on camera to say it was revenge for attacks on Muslims. Police eventually showed up and took them into custody after a shoot-out. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22630303
Yesterday afternoon, a tornado touched down in Moore, Oklahoma, just south of Oklahoma City. And it's been called the biggest, most destructive tornado in state history. At least 51 people are dead . . . including at least 20 children . . . 145 people are in the hospital, and dozens of buildings were destroyed.
Last September, a man in Philadelphia used a DESENSITIZING LUBE on his junk. Something went wrong, and it ended up causing permanent swelling and scarring . . . AND made him lose all sensation down there. Now he's SUING the manufacturer of the lube for damages. http://www.courthousenews.com/2013/05/17/57720.htm
Tuesday, may 14,2013
ANGELINA JOLIE has revealed that she had both breasts removed after her doctor told her she had a high risk of breast cancer. Obviously, she had them surgically reconstructed. She says, quote, "I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity." She also praised BRAD PITT for supporting her through the whole thing. http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-angelina-jolie-mastectomy-20130514,0,62264.story
Over the weekend, an American Airlines pilot diverted a flight from L.A. to New York and landed in Kansas City . . . because a female passenger wouldn't stop belting out WHITNEY HOUSTON songs. The woman was arrested . . . and sang "I Will Always Love You" as cops escorted her off the plane. She ended up being released without charges.
Celebrity psychologist DR. JOYCE BROTHERS died yesterday at the age of 85. There's no word on the cause of death. Joyce appeared in tons of movies and TV shows, often as herself. She was on "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" almost 100 times. She was also a prolific author and columnist.
A 63-year-old Chicago-area man was arrested recently on a slew of charges including drug possession, harassment and animal cruelty. It's the animal cruelty charge that's getting the most attention, however.
Cops say David Beckman sexually abused his pet peacock, which brings two questions to mind: One, who in the world has a pet peacock? And two – well, you know what the other question is. He'll be arraigned next month and until then, he must stay away from peacocks.http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/dupage-county-roselle-sexual-abuse-peacock-206997171.html#ixzz2T0CMRCOn
Monday, April 29, 2013
On "Ellen" on Friday, GWYNETH PALTROW said she has a "'70s vibe" when it comes to her pubic hair. She might have been joking. But someone brought up a video from last year of CAMERON DIAZ, in which she talks about an unidentified friend who's "obsessed with having a '70s bush. Coincidence?
Most people LOVE cheese. And most people ALSO love receiving ORAL PLEASURE. So if you had to choose between the two . . . which one would you give up? In a new survey, 42% of people say they'd give up oral before they'd give up cheese . . . 30% would give up cheese before they'd give up oral. 28% dodged the question. So basically . . . cheese wins. http://bwog.com/2013/04/24/oral-sex-or-cheese-the-truth-revealed/
Lindsay Brooke Colbert was arrested Sunday AM on suspicion of DUI. Cops say they pulled Lindsay over for speeding, but when they approached her ride, not only did she reek of alcohol ... there was an open bottle of rum near the driver's seat, according to local reports.Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2013/04/28/myrtle-manor-arrests-lindsay-brooke-taylor-burt/#ixzz2RqobKpaj
: 28-year-old Taylor Jonathan Burt was popped by cops Saturday night after a teenage girl (under 16) told the Myrtle Beach PD she and Burt engaged in sexual relations, according to a local report.
A horse named Storm Cat died in Kentucky on Wednesday, at age 30. As a race horse, he earned more than half a million dollars. But he also earned that much almost EVERY TIME he had relations with a female horse. He spent the last 25 years becoming the most successful stud horse ever, and fathered 1,452 colts. All together they earned $127 million winning races, and $319 million being sold at auction. http://deadspin.com/the-most-successful-stud-horse-ever-has-died-482885941
We're not sure ANY woman in the world would find this attractive . . . but there's a company in Australia that's selling LINGERIE FOR MEN. It's mostly pink, filled with lace and bows, and includes teddies, camisoles, thongs, negligees, and even padded man-bras. The company says they hope this changes the way men look at underwear.http://www.hommemystere.com/
JUSTIN BIEBER COLLAPSED during his concert in London last night. With a few songs left to go, he felt lightheaded and went backstage. Supposedly, he fainted . . . and needed to be treated with oxygen. Eventually, he came back out, did four more songs, and went to the hospital. Don't worry though, it sounds like he's OK.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00a9acZKNg0
Why do women date older men? In a new survey of women who've dated men at least 10 years older, MONEY obviously came in as the top reason, with 35% of the vote. But it wasn't the ONLY reason. 31% say they're just more ATTRACTED to older men, and 21% say older men are just more MATURE than men their own age. http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/dating-older-men-283245.html
On Valentine's Day, a 51-year-old woman in Illinois got into a fight with her 47-year-old boyfriend. He tried to kiss her to make up, but she CLEARLY wasn't ready . . . because she BIT OFF a LARGE CHUNK of his tongue. Doctors were NOT able to reattach it. The woman has been charged with felony aggravated domestic battery.
ALEC BALDWIN is accused of using a RACIAL SLUR against a black "New York Post" photographer during a confrontation on Sunday. (--The one that rhymes with MOON.) He also called the guy a "crackhead" and a "drug dealer" . . . even though the man is actually a retired New York City cop. Alec denies it.